After the Annunciation: Giving Everything We Have
Recently, one of the young patients in the clinic where I minister as a registered nurse gave me the doll in this photo. The doll looks like she’s been around for a while. Small chunks of her body are missing. She’s a bit dirty. Her arms (or her wings?) might have been chewed off by a pet. Her mesh tutu with fading heart shapes could use some spot cleaning. Her yellow ribbon legs are fraying. If you look closely, you can see what appears to be a corneal abrasion on her right eye, possibly the result of a glue accident. To the world, this doll might look like a mess. But to me, she is a beautiful treasure because the little girl who gave me her doll offered me her prized possession to thank me for taking care of her.
The day I received the gift was busier than usual. It seemed to me that everyone needed something from me and they needed it sooner rather than later. Those we serve in this ministry are poor, uninsured or underinsured, and accustomed to getting “the runaround” when attempting to access services in most organizations where they seek help. So, we make it our mission to be compassionate and to help them in every way possible. On the day I received the gift of this doll, my compassion had been tested a few times and was in very short supply. However, receiving this gift turned my day around.
It wasn’t until later that evening when I sat down to review my day during the Examen prayer that I began to realize the magnitude of the gift. As I reflected on my moments of gratitude from the day, receiving this raggedy doll certainly stood out. However, I realized that, as I prayed, the words in my heart were from Luke 1:38, “Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.” While these words spoken by the Blessed Virgin Mary in response to the angel Gabriel’s announcement of the birth of Jesus are familiar to me, I wondered why they were put on my heart at this particular moment. Sure, we pray them several times each day during the Angelus. Yes, my “Name Day” is the Solemnity of the Annunciation of the Lord, one of several times in the liturgical year that this gospel is proclaimed during Mass. But why, on this seemingly ordinary winter weekday evening, were they prominent in my Examen prayer?
It took a few days of prayer to hear what might be the answer for me right now. It’s not actually the words “Let it be done to me according to your word” that are the most significant. It's what happens after that. That is, after Gabriel’s announcement and after Mary says, “May it be done to me according to your word,” Mary is compelled to give everything she has – her life, her will, even her only son – to fulfill God’s mission for her. And, each day, when we repeat those words, we are compelled to give everything we have to fulfill God’s mission for us. The fulfillment of our mission comes not during the Annunciation, but in our complete self-gift afterwards.
This is the lesson my young prophet taught me the day she gave me her doll. Feeling compelled to give me something in response to my care for her during the past year, she gave me everything she had. On that day in which my compassion seemed to be running out, she changed my life for the better. She reminded me that the words I had repeated sloppily and haphazardly in the Angelus that very morning required me to continue to give everything I have and am. She reminded me that God’s mission for me is to give everything I have in order to offer compassionate care to the least of our brothers and sisters, changing their lives for the better.
“Behold, I am the handmaid of the Lord. May it be done to me according to your word.”
**Addendum: When I went to work after receiving ashes on Ash Wednesday morning, several of my co-workers – who were scheduled to work until 7 pm – told me that they were unable to get ashes and wondered if I could help them. Since I, too, was scheduled to work until 7 that evening, I was unable to go anywhere to get ashes for them. The priests I knew were too busy that day to stop by the clinic, and I was unable to find anyone else to bring ashes to my co-workers. Since I had just completed this blog post the day before, it was fresh on my mind and heart. So, I followed the lead of my young patient and gave what I had – the ashes from my own forehead. Once I began, though, more and more people asked for ashes. In fact, I shared so many small portions of ashes with enough people that my own ashes disappeared; I had given all that I had.
That afternoon, the Sisters in my local community were able to bring more blessed ashes to the clinic so that all who asked were able to be blessed with ashes. But, had my Sisters been unable to do this, I am sure that my co-workers would have shared their few ashes with others. It seems that once we have witnessed another person giving all he or she has, we are likely to be inspired to give all we have. May it be done to us according to God’s word.
