Lord, You Have My Heart...
I have this very odd ability to remember the most minute details years after some event. One night, I was sitting at the computer with one of my Sisters looking for guitar chords for different praise and worship songs. We were laughing, singing, and having a wonderful time. Suddenly, God put this idea in my heart that we had to find this one song. The problem is, I couldn’t remember any of the tune or any of the words. All I could come up with was, “Do you remember that one song we sang for our August 21st celebration (our Founding Day!) in 2011?” Determined to find it, we turned to our fellow junior professed Sisters. We reached out to the two who we thought would have the best musical memories. Humbly we asked the question, “Do you remember that one song we sang for our August 21st celebration in 2011?” to which our dear Sister replied, “You’re kidding me right?” as if it was some type of quiz or the beginning of a story. Sadly, we responded, “We wish we were.” However, with a couple of more very fuzzy clues, Sister came to the rescue and was able to name the song: “Lord, You Have My Heart” by Delirious?. Ah, yes!!! She pulled it from the depths of her mind, and we were so grateful. Why did God place that song in my heart…not even the song itself, but the idea of the song? He had a lesson for me. One line is all He needs. One line.
The very first line of the song is “Lord you have my heart, And I will search for yours….” As we took that song to prayer that night. I sang those first words, and I asked myself, “Lord, do you have my heart?...Have I given you my whole heart?” The answer was no, not today anyway. Somehow, my sequence got thrown off. Without knowing it, I was asking God for His heart, and only then would I give Him mine. In a way, I was asking for confirmation, assurance, a “prenup” with God, if you will. I was asking God to prove Himself before I made myself vulnerable and offered my heart. While that seems to be the human way, the protective way, it is not the way of God. God is asking us to take a leap of faith, to “put out into the deep” (Luke 5:4). Duc in altum! He is asking us to trust Him with our hearts. He is asking me to trust Him with my heart. So, I extend my arm, with my heart in hand, and as much as I shake, I offer it in love and in trust. Christ reaches down, grabs my hand to steady it, takes my heart, and cherishes it. Soon, all the fears disappear, and once again, my heart finds peace in Him. I’m sorry Lord, for the times when I have doubted you. “Lord, you have my heart, and I will search for yours, Jesus take my life and lead me on.”
